So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
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The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
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I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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