Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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