It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize