I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You ruined the universe
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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