we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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