just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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