Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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