ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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