uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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