how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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