i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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