More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize