I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
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