Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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