Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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