This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
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I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
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Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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