what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I can't turn off my feet"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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