I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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