So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize