There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
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No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
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Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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