Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
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She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
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My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize