also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
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Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
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Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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