We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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