If i come over, it means nothing
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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