I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize