i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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