My room smells like vodka and shame
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize