Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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