I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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