I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
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I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
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So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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