So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
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her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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