i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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