We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize