hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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