I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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