He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
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