When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Quick, to the slutcave!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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