Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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