Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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