he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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