i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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