I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize