standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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