Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize