Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
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and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
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I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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