We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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