i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
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