I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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