fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize