is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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